You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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