She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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