I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
