is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you would pick up someone in the library
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
