I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
