He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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