Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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