I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
