I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize