love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
