the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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