I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
