So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
