Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize