go do what you do best...puke behind churches
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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