I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
