I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
