bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
