Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
