I think i peed on brittanys purse
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
