ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
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