Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
