I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
