final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
