either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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