The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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