Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
