i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
