I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
