just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
