hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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