Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
