how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
