i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
