No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
