Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
