quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My pussy is not your playground.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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