I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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