Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Randomize
