she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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