We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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