i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
