We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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