some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize