I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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