Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
