Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
