i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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