OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
