if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
