Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
