mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
