Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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