This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
