you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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