What did we do last night that was yellow?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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