grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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