New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.