The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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you inspire me to be a worse person
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos