So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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